


you're all my life

by sseriwoos



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, im sorry seriwooist, insecure woobin, its sad please dont hate me, kinda woobin-centric, serillen, serillen is the superior ship here, seriwoo - Freeform, seriwoo ANGST, woobin-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24460174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseriwoos/pseuds/sseriwoos
Summary: in which seriwoo is each other's soulmates but its a one-sided attraction
Relationships: Allen Ma/Park Serim, Park Serim/Seo Woobin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	you're all my life

**Author's Note:**

> did i just say angst????? yes, im sorry seriwooist. listen to all of my life by park won while you read this :)

“Minhee, how does it feels like having a soulmate that loves you, for yourself?" Woobin looks at the boy next to him, both of them basking under the sunlight, sitting on the bench at their school’s rooftop. 

“It feels like you’re in heaven? Because you have someone that cares for you every day, hell every second. And they don’t just love you, you know? They cared for you so so much, when we are apart it actually hurts a lot.” The younger smiles, eyes closing remembering how much affection he got from his soulmate.

_He is genuinely happy_ , Woobin thought.

A sigh could be heard beside him and Minhee look at the elder, smiling apologetically. He knows Woobin has been struggling a lot with his soulmate. 

“He loves you.” The younger said, genuinely. 

Woobin just smiles sadly, tidying up his wrinkle's uniforms as he stands up. "I hope he does."

-

As his last period of the day ended, Woobin quickly walks towards Serim’s class, not wanting to be apart for so long, he needs physical affection, he needs attention. He leans against the locker and waits for the elder, hands clammy, anxiety got the best of him. 

The students from Serim’s class start leaving and Woobin waited for the elder, eyes scanning for his soulmate. A wave of student passing by, and then there’s him, looking good like he always does. Sometimes he thinks the universe did a mistake pairing him up with someone as good looking as Serim. When Serim got everything a perfect guy could have, Woobin is just that one classmate that people didn't give their full attention to, he is basic, well maybe he can sing but he is nothing compares to Serim. 

People at school questions a lot about their relationship. Even people couldn’t believe that they’re soulmates. He hesitated for a moment but he realizes he needs to catch Serim’s attention. 

“Hyu-“ 

He was about to call the elder but of course, Serim wasn’t alone. 

“Baby, let’s go to the arcade! I will pay you this time, I swear!” Serim exclaims excitedly, not realizing the younger is standing just a few meters away, waiting.

“Aw I would love to babe but I got so much stuff to finish up today.” Allen smiles at him apologetically. Serim feels betrayed, he pouts and he uses his puppy eyes to win the later’s heart. “But you promised me.”

“We can go next time alright? Plus, someone is already waiting for you.” Allen said, his mouth pointing towards the direction where Woobin is standing, his eyes darting everywhere but not at the two, trying to regain his breathing, trying to not let his emotion controls the best of him. _Breathe, Seo Woobin._

And as much as Woobin likes to see Serim smiling towards him, he can’t. Because the elder already had his straight face when he saw him. “Oh, I guess I will get going now then," Serim said, eyes looking at the younger, who is playing with the sleeves of his uniform out of nervousness. “I love you Llenie.” He smiles, quietly stealing a kiss from the later.

Allen smiles softly, even in black and white, Serim still looks so beautiful. “I love you too.” He couldn’t miss the way the younger is staring at the wall the whole time they were conversing. He couldn’t hate on Woobin for coming into Serim’s life because it’s not his fault, it’s the universe’s fault and the cruel fate they put them in. The universe hates both of them, for loving the same guy.

_I love you, Llenie._

Woobin hates himself. He hates this situation so much too, he hates how he cowers into himself when Serim approaches him. He just wanted to hold that hands but why does it feel so wrong. Serim’s word echoed in his mind over and over again and his eyes are staring at the ground instead of the elder who’s right now in front of him. 

“Woobin, I told you not to wait for me.” 

Woobin hates this too. He hates how much Serim doesn't like his company. "I-I just want to spend some time with you, hyung.” And he hates it when Serim is doing everything out of force. 

The elder pull his chin up and smiles softly to him, eyes so sincere Woobin felt sick to his stomach again, _he is doing this because he doesn’t want you to feel bad,_ “Let’s go, I will treat you ice cream on our way back home.” 

Serim pulls the younger’s hand and Woobin felt like every cell in his body finally starts to work. He feels alive. 

-

Serim looks at the younger who is messily eating the ice-cream, _he looks like a little child, so clumsy._ And he chuckled to himself, only to attract the younger. 

Woobin looks up, only to see the soft smile on Serim’s face. “Is there something funny on my face?” He quickly tried to wipe any residue from his face but Serim stops him. Instead, his thumb makes its way to the younger’s lips, wiping the stain. “You got stain at your lips.” 

And as hard as Woobin tries not to contain his smiles, he couldn’t. 

_He doesn’t love you._

-

Serim is not gonna lie about how much he tried. He tried so hard to love the younger just as much as he loves Allen, he tried so hard to forget and starts new but he couldn’t. Even how much the younger sacrifice himself for him, he couldn’t force himself because he could see no one else but Allen. It has only been a month, and in that one month, he is thankful to the younger for bringing colors into his life. He never gave his attention to Woobin before, the first time he saw him was during the day they found each other as soulmates.

He was disappointed that it wouldn’t be Allen. He was so sure because they are so perfect together but apparently, the universe got other plans. He remembers clearly how Woobin looks like, he was so beautiful, smiles not leaving his face. He will never forget the way the younger’s eyes sparkle. He was so happy, but the way the same smiles falter when he sees how disappointed Serim looks, broke him. 

He felt so bad because Woobin deserves so much more. 

"Sorry for taking your time with Allen hyung.” The younger said softly, and Serim swears he hates how defeated the younger sounds like, _he shouldn’t apologize for my selfishness._

“Woobin, you’re my soulmates. It’s okay for wanting attention, okay? I love you.” Serim smiles, ruffling the strands of brown hair. 

“I love you too, Serim hyung.” _I love you so much, I only have you._

-

_“He really thought he is a good match with Serim?”_

_“He is so basic, I guess the universe really is unfair.”_

_“Serim might date him out of pity too, I mean, he is already in a relationship with Allen, that guy from his class.”_

_“Poor Woobin.”_

At school, Woobin learns to swallow all the bitterness and all the awful words people said to him. Even when his friends are around, he wouldn’t be able to block out his thoughts. Before, he would always catch himself silently staring at the elder, hoping to the universe that his soulmates could be as good as Serim, as beautiful as Serim. 

But now that it did. Woobin loses all the sparks he felt. A lot of people saw how much he changes. He was always bright and bubbly but now, that Woobin is nowhere to be found. Every day he listened to how much people despise him and that makes him tired. 

That makes him pull up a wall between himself and everyone else. It’s like walking on thin ice, he would fall anytime soon if he is not cautious enough.

-

Sometimes he cried himself to sleep and Serim will show up in front of his house the next morning to walk with him to school. He knows why, because when he is sad and when his heart aches so bad, his soulmates could feel it too, he reads about this a lot because he was so excited about meeting his soulmates. But after meeting Serim, he wishes he doesn’t need to know how to love someone. 

Serim will pamper him a lot on days like that but Woobin knows he is not who Serim prioritize. 

_Why can’t we be like everyone else?_

Sometimes he watched how much Serim loves Allen and his heart falters again. 

_I want us to have a dream together too, hyung. I want to dream too._

-

When his mind is too preoccupied with so many thoughts, Woobin would go to the karaoke place and sing his heart out, sometimes he went there with Minhee and Jungmo, third-wheeling himself. Sometimes he went there with the youngest, Taeyoung and Seongmin only to end up not singing but playing around instead. And sometimes he went there alone, so he could clear his mind and scream. 

He would sing so many genres of songs but he will always end up with this one particular song, 

**All of my life by Park Won**

This song is the song he would sing every time he went to the karaoke place alone. It’s a song he always wants to sing for Serim, because he wanted the elder to know what he wanted to say but he isn’t good with words, 

_When I look at myself_

_I changed so much after meeting you_

_I began to have dreams_

_And I wanted to make your dreams come true too_

_To do that, I had to go up higher_

_I had to have more things_

_Just when I had everything_

_My dreams became bigger than love_

_All of my life, when I was struggling_

_You are all of my life, you filled me up_

_I tried filling myself up with other things_

_all of my life_

_you are all of my life_

_But I couldn’t be filled_

As much as he doesn’t want to cry, every time this song ended, he would be a sobbing mess. 

And Serim would always get so worried that he became restless. 

Usually, Serim will show up in front of his house tomorrow morning but today, Serim is already waiting by the front gate and before Woobin can do anything, he already engulfed the younger in a hug. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for hurting you.” 

Woobin is a sobbing mess, eyes so red and swollen it broke the elder’s heart again. They stay like that for god knows how long, he is still shaking in his hold, chin rested against Serim’s shoulder, breathing shallowly. 

“Do you want me to stay here tonight?” Serim broke the hug, hands cupping the younger’s face, wiping the tears that fell. 

“Yes.”

-

Woobin is not crying anymore but he felt sick of himself. Days like this are days where he hates his guts so much he felt like ripping himself open. At night like this, he wishes he didn’t agree on letting Serim stay with him until he falls asleep. 

“Woobin?” The elder called for him but Woobin wasn't listening. He was battling with his emotions again and those little thoughts in his head, saying stuff that makes him hate himself so much more. 

Serim touches the younger's cheek only to see how much Woobin flinches, eyes so big, and so so vulnerable. Staring at him like his life depended on him and Serim’s heart aches again. The next question from Woobin broke his heart so much, he wishes he could remove those thoughts from the younger’s head. 

“Serim hyung, am I worthless?”

Serim held the younger tighter, he cupped the younger’s face again and stare into those vulnerable eyes, it doesn’t look sad, it looks like it lost thousands of emotion instead, like it's losing the colors again, only seeing black and white. “You’re not, Woobin-ah,” He says softly. 

“Why do people hate me? Why do I hate myself?” 

And Serim didn't realize it but his tears fell slowly while he stares into those eyes. “I don’t hate you, Woobin.” He leans forward, his palm touching the soft skin of the younger, caressing the curve of his cheeks, the firm shape of his jawline. 

“I love you,” Tracing the plump lips, he softly kissed him. 

It’s a long kiss, almost to the point of making out, it’s longing, the kiss you haven’t felt in a long time but you want it so bad, it’s that type of kiss. Their lips parted and they panted softly, forehead against each other trying to regain their breath. 

Woobin loves him. The hyung in front of him and he knows Serim loves him. But, Serim loves someone else too. 

“Hyung.” 

Serim’s forehead is rested against the younger’s shoulder and he hummed in response. 

“You need to choose.” 

And Serim, even how hard it is for him to choose, he did.

-

Serim looks at him. At the face that hides thousands of emotions. The mask he pulls up to protect himself is gone, he could only see how vulnerable the younger looks like. Woobin fell asleep in his arm not long ago, claiming that he is warm and comfortable. 

Serim took this chance to say what he had been keeping inside his chest. Even how much it would hurt both of them, he couldn't keep doing this anymore.

"Woobin, when you ask me to choose, I already know the answer but I couldn't say it to you when you're looking at me, I wouldn't dare to see those eyes losing its colors again."

"I want to protect you, I want to be there for you... but I can't do that as a lover." 

"I could only do that as the one who shares the red strings of fate with you. I tried, Woobin-ah. I tried so hard but at the end of the day, I couldn't. I still couldn't and I don’t want you to force yourself to accept this. I just want you to know…"

"…that I love you, I still love you so so much, Seo Woobin."

-

He feels like his world is collapsing. Woobin feels like everything around him is spinning and his ears are ringing. 

_"I'm sorry, Woobin."_

He feels like he is suffocating, he couldn't breathe. 

_"Thank you for allowing me to see colors,"_

He feels like he is losing everything he could grasp.

_"I'm sorry that I can never return your love."_

He feels like ripping his heart out.

Serim's fingers lightly touching the younger's lips again and he pecks it softly. He leaves for the door shortly after, turning around to look at the younger for one last time, before leaving him.

And Woobin's eyes flutter open, a sob ripping from his throat, hands clasping against his mouth trying as hard as he can to muffle his scream. 

_You're my yesterday, today and tomorrow_

_Like the sunlight of memories, like the stars that protect the night_

_You come to me familiarly, every day_

_You're my spring, summer, fall and winter_

_In between the seasons, I'm left all alone_

_Far away without a single trace_

He wishes for them to meet again but in an alternate universe where soulmates don't exist. He wishes he wouldn't know how to love someone so much. He wishes he wouldn't know how does heartbreak feels like. 

The red string of fate tells him that he and Serim would meet again. 

He wants to love him, again.

He wants to dream, again.

**Author's Note:**

> find me at twitter, @crvtywoo <3


End file.
